Walking Marraige

Posted by greentea on August 21st, 2011 | 25 comments | 1111 views


Musuo people’s Walking Marriage is not a legondary history, but everyday’s life.
In southwest china, the border of Yunnan and Sichuan provinces, there is a beautiful lake called Lugu Lake. Around Lugu lake, there are about 50,000 Mosuo people living there. They are mongolian descendants. They have their own language but no written words. They have a very special culture. Men and woman don’t marry as other peoples do. There are no husband and wife in a family. They practice a unique style of relationship between men and women, Walking Marriage or night visit.
In Musuo society, women are in charge of daily life affairs. Inheritance is through female line. Women take care of the family business, make decisions, cleaning, tending the fire, cooking, gathering firewood, feeding the livestock, and spinning and weaving….
What men do? They are in charge of livestock( for example slaughtering pigs…) and fishing, these skills they learned from their uncles, and also save their energy for their night visit.
When a girl is 13 years old, a special ceremony is held for celebrating her being an adult. And she can go out for parties or socialize. She is given a room, which is called flower room. Later when she grows older, she could take her lover back. Every year there is a big carnival. Young people get to know each other from dancing and singing. The ones who are in love with each other, they make their appointment to go to girls room for the night visit.
The rule is: a man must get into his girl’s room through window and the girls are always live in the second floor. If he dares to get into it from the door, his reputation is ruined. The girl’s family will contempt him forever. I talked to my taxi driver who is a Mosuo man. He told me he had been visiting his woman for 4 years and they had a son. After the son was born, he now could go to the girl’s room through door. But if he and his woman break up, and if he start another relationship with anther girl, he had to climb window again. So he told me Mosuo men mus stay fit and strong and agile, or he would be miserable.
The children belong to women’s family. Men never stay with their children. They live in their sister’s house all his life. The children’s fatherly love is given by uncles, for the uncles live in the home not the father. Men don’t need to take responsibility to the children at all, but they may go to give a hand when the mother’s home need help, such as building a new house or some other work which require male strength, but it is not a must. Father and children’s relation is more like relatives. They would buy some gift to their children at some special occasion, such as new year time or school ceremony.
Although they don’t have a signed paper to guarantee their relationship, they stay loyal to each other. This Walking Marriage is not a casual thing. Both sides value it seriously. While it is possible for a Mosuo woman to change partners as often as she likes, few Mosuo women have more than one partner at a time. Many relationships are long term and some of them are lifelong relationship. My taxi driver told me, when a relationship is over, they would sit down and make a long talk, and then they start again. And there is no money involved.
Now many Mosuo people have accepted modern education and some men started paying attention to their children. My taxi driver told me, he sometimes bought gift to his son or went play with him, but he had not had dinners with his son and the mother.
If you think it is a very good life to Mosuo men, well sort of. Sometimes a man may live 20 km away from his woman and he has to ride his horse or cross mountains or paddle his boat to get to her. He is only allowed to get into the house in total darkness and he must leave before the day breaks. But my taxi driver and his woman live in same village, he is a lucky man.
If you happen to travel to Yunnan province, I strongly recommend you to visit Lugu lake. It is the most beautiful lake I have ever seen.
Thanks for reading and sorry for my poor English


greentea

Comments

  • # posted by Steve Brookwell on November 28th, 2012 4:15 pm
    Do you have your own website ? I will be asking you questions of the best places to go etc......

    Sorry, but I missed your name ? Is it a hobby or do you work in photography ?

    Steve
  • # posted by Steve Brookwell on November 28th, 2012 2:23 pm
    Greentea, your stuff is superb. I have been to China twice this year . Your shots inspire me to travel around the entire country. Fantastic photos. I have just joined here, but have a travel site www.stevebrookwell.com , I am always wanting to share experiences with likeminded travellers

    Steve Brookwell UK
  • # posted by Bruce Miller on July 6th, 2012 12:11 am
    Thank you Greentea for a fascinating article. It is interesting how such a loose relationship arrangement works for the Musuo people and yet in my country with such strictly regulated arrangements, marriage and family responsibility has become a social & community disaster.
  • # posted by Laura C on May 21st, 2012 4:48 pm
    Thank you for sharing this facts about your country...otherwise I would never know anything about it! Really interesting and in a way a very open minded philosophy...Keep sharing...Hugs
  • # posted by Raulcanc on May 10th, 2012 6:46 pm
    Thanks, Greentea your very interesting history.
  • # posted by Dieneke Boonstra on January 20th, 2012 3:44 pm
    A fascinating way of life and culture, I once read a book about these people, really interesting, thanks!
  • # posted by Tom Eikemo on January 13th, 2012 2:20 am
    Just have to say, i love your pictures. Exellent shots of people, animals and nature. It's hard to pick favorites, you have so many really good shots. I really enjoy looking through them. Best regards from the cold north
  • # posted by ljdfoto on January 8th, 2012 9:34 am
    your english is excellent, I like green tea
  • # posted by Marja C on December 11th, 2011 6:09 am
    Of course i mean Greentea .... and i like Greentea :-)
  • # posted by Marja C on December 11th, 2011 6:00 am
    What an interesting story. A separate culture in your beautiful country China. I have read this story with great interest. A few months ago, in a morning program on the Dutch tv, there was a woman who had visit many cultures in many different countries. She told about this remarkable culture, so I recognize this story and i'm touched by it. Thank you Greentee for this explanation about this culture.
  • # posted by Els van Heel on November 30th, 2011 1:25 am
    Thanks for this interesting explanation of this story !!
  • # posted by mercy on November 9th, 2011 8:26 pm
    Hi, Greetings from Miss mercy,, (mercytrayon@hotmail.com) How are you doing today and health over there?. My name is mercy,am a single girl,never marry.I went across your profile on (wophy.com).I found intrest on you,i wish to know you more.if you can contact me direct with your email to my email address (mercytrayon@hotmail.com)** i promised to give you my pictures here from my email address.
  • # posted by João Luz on September 3rd, 2011 1:43 pm
    I always enjoyed the idea of mixing image(s) and text. Usualy I do it in a fictional or thinking register. Here you do it in a documental register, which, I think, it matches perfectly with your wonderful images. Besides, your article is an excellent lesson about cultural and traditional differences and about the respect we should all have for those diferences. Cultural prejudice will always be a sign of short vision and lack of inteligence and the source of many of those absurd and aggressive conflicts. It is also very pleasent and interesting to find another society where women have a very important role (eventhough I didn't understood very well the role they play in major decisions) and also a completly different (but also perfectly acceptable and maybe even more functional) concept of family and relationship between men and women. Thank you again Greentea!
  • # posted by Amato on August 31st, 2011 12:19 am
    thank you for this wonderful explanation dear Greentea, always is interesting learn about differents culture. By the way your English is very good, better than mine!
  • # posted by sabietabacchi on August 27th, 2011 6:10 pm
    thanks for the lesson,
  • # posted by JayneKait on August 25th, 2011 5:51 am
    Wonderful history Greentea. Several Native American tribes were matriarcial (sp?) also. I think this way of life works well.
  • # posted by Zeeg on August 24th, 2011 11:19 am
    Thanks for this document and these interestin explanations. I have been there in 1993, walking a whole day along the Lugu lake and also hitchhiking to come back to the village with the huge trucks of the local timber industry, overloaded and speeding dangerously through the dusty tracks...
  • # posted by debbie wilson on August 22nd, 2011 11:48 pm
    wonderful explantation and your english is just fine!!!!
  • # posted by Trudy Tuinstra on August 22nd, 2011 8:26 pm
    thank you very much for your clear explanation of a totaly different way of life. It is interesting to know and makes also clear that were we are used to not always can be the standard of life. Excelent job!
  • # posted by spencerwynn on August 22nd, 2011 3:14 pm
    This is indeed a culture within a culture. Like layers of an onion, you have skillfully revealed an inner layer of an incredible family structure. Thank you. Not only do your images capture a world we know little of, you blog post is equally rich in detail, insight and observations.

    Brilliant.
  • # posted by Abílio Silveira on August 22nd, 2011 10:24 am
    The diversity of cultures around the planet so very well explained by your document.
    I would love to see one of those houses and particularly one of the windows.
    Maybe when you get there again...
  • # posted by Richt on August 22nd, 2011 12:26 am
    Thank you so very much greentea! Not so long a go I saw on the norge tv a documentary of the special rooms for the young girls.
    Very interesting! So many different cultures on this earth! Thank you for sharing!
  • # posted by hardloperjan (Jan Landman) on August 21st, 2011 9:36 pm
    What a remarkable people live there, I haven't heard from this culture, very special indeed.
    Thank you for sharing this Greentea
  • # posted by Tensionhead on August 21st, 2011 9:10 pm
    well done - this is the exact reason i have always enjoyed woophy.....seeing how people live and different sultures around the world. thank you, and no need to apologize for any "poor english"!
  • # posted by grannychristina on August 21st, 2011 7:11 pm
    a very interesting story Greentea

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greentea

Gold camera, member has published more than 10 photos with very high ratingMember of the Month, June 1st, 2011

i m not a photographer, but i have leanrned a lot from woophy. i post my travel pictures here just want to share with you the stories about my large and diverse country and enjoy the beauty in your pictures. 

Country:China  CH
City:Dongguan
Registered:November 5th, 2010
Num of photos:771
Age:51
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